Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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