i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
