i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i dont even know how to be here
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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