After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
