I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
