bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize