my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize