it was like eating out sand paper
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
