1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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