his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
