I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
