all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
