i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
