You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize