Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize