Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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