White coat. Heels.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
