Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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