it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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