Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
