Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
