Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
