You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Even my vagina gasped.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
