i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
