she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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