I think im going to throw up on grandma
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
