the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
