idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
