I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
