I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
