Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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