Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
