apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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