Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
