Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Duck Duck Cougar?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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