i permit you to call me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
