They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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