The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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