I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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