he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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