I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
How's work?
Spinning.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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