My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
