I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
