I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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