you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize