we have officially lost it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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