oh god the rape fog is back!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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