dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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