I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
