there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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