I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
