her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize