I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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