nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
