dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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