fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize