I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
